True Gospel with SAVIOUS-PARKER KWINIKA
EVER realised how easy it is to go into a relationship with some or how simple it is to tell a partner you love them?
However, how that relationship is maintained determines its success or failure.
The reason why Jehovah gave us dominion, authority and supremacy are because Yahweh would want us to ensure we influence positives out of love.
When properly handled, love is so sweet, knows no boundary, race, tribe, colour, background of individuals, creed, geographic location or qualification.
Hence love is blind.
At some point, my favourite ancient biblical evangelist, Apostle Paul, once said, on 1 Corinthians 13 that: “Love conquers all.”
Indeed, love conquers everything.
However, what beats me most to the bone marrow is how love today does not conquer all.
Why doesn’t love overcome or defeat everything or anything anymore?
Nowadays, I always witness many relationships falling apart.
It is failing to conquer race, tribe, creed or geographic location.
Many relationships are failing everywhere.
If I may ask, what causes relationships to collapse today?
The answer is simple!
Many people do not know what true love is all about. Many think love is just about sexual intercourse and producing babies.
This week’s True Gospel seeks to share reasons causing love to fail.
At the same time, it suggests key wise points to help sustain love.
Firstly, let me identify the main factors that contribute to the downfall or collapse of relationships.
Lack of trust, jealousy, possessiveness, anger, unreliability, different expectations, differences in priorities, moving through life at different speeds and compatibility issues are the greatest relationship killers.
Other contributing factors comprise unreasonable rigidity, sexual infidelity, dependability, lack of emotional support, lack of financial compatibility and lack of mutually-supportive goals.
Lack of communication skills in the relationship, abuse, grown apart, boredom, staleness, narcissism and most importantly money issues also contribute.
Jehovah teaches us the attributes of love through His servant and Apostle Paul on 1 Corinthians 13:4 of the New Living Translation.
It states: “Love is patient and kind. Love is not jealous or boastful or proud or rude. It does not demand its own way. It is not irritable, and it keeps no record of being wronged. It does not rejoice about injustice but rejoices whenever the truth wins out. Love never gives up, never loses faith, is always hopeful, and endures through every circumstance.”
The moment we do not practice what the word of Jehovah teaches us, love ceases to be sweet.
Keeping a relationship alive requires hard work, determination and inspiration.
True love is more than staying attracted or feeling the spark between you and your partner simply because one made a promise to explore life and its wrongdoing and barbarism together.
While many couples would never want to think about breaking up, the sad reality is that failing love happens a lot owing to the facts raised by this True Gospel.
Research conducted in the United States, precisely the American Psychological Association, notes that 50 percent of marriages usually end in divorce.
This is because the couples in a relationship have no clue whether their love would survive or collapse just like what they had witnessed next-door.
For true love to survive the test of challenges, couples must always know it takes lots of sacrifices, compromises and commitments.
True love is more than just giving one’s heart and time to your partner in order to explore the beauty of life together.
True loves must not be driven by egos. Egos should not be allowed to take over. If that happens, then couples end up getting things their own way, hence a fatal blow to a sound relationship.
Another issue contributing to the failure of love is the fact that couples do not understand that it takes two partners to build a sound relationship.
Therefore, it is not advisable for one to be the only one making decisions in a relationship.
Usually, ego creates an imbalance in the relationship by making couples go away slowly.
This is why Apostle Peter wrote on 1 Peter 4:8 of the Berean Study Bible urging every couple to be strong in a relationship.
“Above all, love one another deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins.”
We learn to love unconditionally because Jehovah loved us through Jesus Christ in an unquestioning, unreserved, unlimited, unrestricted and whole-heartedly.
1 John 4:19 of the New Living Translation states: “We love each other because He loved us first.”
What are the benefits of being in a relationship as opposed to being single in life?
A quick look at the scriptures will show what true happiness in a marriage really means.
Luke 6:37-38 of the English Standard Version teaches couples not to always judge so that they would not be judged too.
“Judge not, and you will not be judged; condemn not, and you will not be condemned; forgive, and you will be forgiven; give, and it will be given to you. Good measure, pressed down, shaken together, running over, will be put into your lap. For with the measure you use it will be measured back to you.”
To support this True Gospel, a recent study from the University of Chicago suggested that people who are married or in a committed relationship actually have lower levels of cortisol, the stress hormone.
“These results suggest that single and unpaired individuals are more responsive to psychological stress than married individuals, a finding consistent with a growing body of evidence showing that marriage and social support can buffer against stress,” researchers wrote.
A study suggested that when people are in “deeply in love” and look at a photo of the object of their affection, they actually feel less pain than those who don’t have anyone to look at romantically.
Researchers found that the dopamine system that is deployed when people are in love can create its own form of natural pain killers, lessening the severity of pain.
Always remember that in true love, couples always overcome ego and challenges together.
There is no perfect partner in this world.
Everyone has their flaws.
For a successful relationship, always try your best to be kind and considerate to your partner despite different feelings and perceptions.
It is always advisable for couples to make a transition from ‘me’ to ‘we.’
A healthy relationship does not make everything about you. Consider your partner’s views too and respect their opinions.
Remember, whenever decisions are made in a relationship, try to ensure that such decisions satisfy the two people’s needs.
Whenever arguments ensue in a relationship, it is always advisable to compromise and focus on mending ties with your partner, no matter whose fault it was.
I like the wise words by one American love expert: “When nails grow long, we cut nails not fingers. Similarly, whenever there is an ego in a relationship cut your ego, not the relationship.”
As a journalist, born again in the House of Jehovah, I strongly believe good communication skills help make love exciting.
Remember, communication can either make or break a relationship.
This is why poor communication skills are discouraged in a relationship because they often lead to endless conflicts that result in breakups.
Another key issue is to be always slow in anger. Anger is a natural and healthy emotion that everyone feel from time to time but can become a problem if it is too extreme, hard to control, or lasts too long.
James 1:19 of the New Living Translation confirms this True Gospel: “Understand this, my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry.”
Excessive anger is one of the serious concerns why relationships fail nowadays.
According to researches, it has been proven that anger arises when things do not go as planned, especially when one has been mistreated or wrongly accused, or when there is a misunderstanding.
Anger always leads to stress, frustration, and anxiety. While it is very normal to be angry, however excessive anger becomes a problem when one expresses displeasure, resentment, rage, fury, wrath or outrage in a way that harms oneself or others.
Anger does not only destroy one’s personal relationships but also tear down the overall quality of the couple’s life.
This is why one of the ancient wisest kings, Solomon, once urged people to be always slow to anger arguing quick-tempered exalts folly.
According to Proverbs 14:29 of the New Living Translation: “People with understanding control their anger; a hot temper shows great foolishness.”
In a healthy relationship, it is always important to create time for your spouse.
Lack of quality time with your partner is also one of the main reasons why relationships fail nowadays.
Studies have shown with all sorts of commitments such as work, business meetings, family responsibilities, people hardly find time for themselves let alone spending time with their partner.
The moment one fails to allocate time for their partner, it creates a huge recipe for unhappy relationship, which therefore leads to its collapse.
While working is always important, couples are always urged not to put their work before the relationship.
No matter how busy one might be, always try one’s best to create time for loving one’s partner and children.
Spending quality time together gives you an opportunity to get to know each other on a deeper level.
Brothers and sisters, fathers and mothers, those who believe in this True Gospel, say amen!
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